Episode 1 feedback thread

[Pizza Ant]

feel free to answer these questions and leave some feedback

1. what did you like best about the show?

2. what did you like the least about the show?

3. what was the moment of the night?

4. what was your favorite match (besides your own)?

5. did you like how your character was portrayed?

6. how could i improve portraying your character on the show?

7. any predictions for the future?

[Deleted]

1. It was a fairly predictable, but reliable first show. I really liked how it sowed the seeds for future stories, like Jeremiah Johnson being a dick, Azezel possibly starting off an undefeated streak if that match was anything to go by, and Clutch McCloud having a legitimate claim that he should still be in the tournament.

2. I honestly don't like how short the matches were. This is largely just cause I like reading this stuff but also because a really short match makes the loser look pretty weak in my opinion. Using the first match as an example, by my count Jerry Bishop got in 4 moves against Davey Jones (5 if you count causing Davey to hit the turnbuckle, which I don't and 6 if you count the snapmare, which Bishop's roster page counts as part of his finisher), an Enziguri, a springboard forearm, (from the top rope apparently, but I'd put that down to a brainfart) a rolling elbow and the Touchstone Takedown.

Seriously, imagine if you were watching RAW and, for example, Ambrose beat Rollins in 4 moves? It just doesn't look too good and in my opinion, is less fun to both write and read. I also wasn't the biggest fan of Steven Deville just talking shit about the faces, but that's just personal preference. In my mind a heel commentator should be bigging up the heels, yeah, but not making the faces sound useless.

3. A collection of moment, namely, all the segments throughout the show with Clutch McCloud. I love having small stories told over the course of a show and the tried and true "Injured babyface going into a fight anyway" always works at building characters. It gives Sabre a good win while getting him over as a heel, protects Clutch in his loss while getting him over as a face and it gives good fuel for a potential future rivalry. Nick Leeds getting repeatedly shut down only to tell the Hardcases to bugger off was pretty great too, I'm interested to see where that goes.

4. Honestly, it would be Thompson/Boone but I don't know if "other than your own" means what you've written or what your character is in and this match has all of mine involved so other than that it would probably be the Main Event, for many of the reasons I just gave and also cause the finish was pretty damn good at its job.

5. I'm pretty damn happy with the way Adam, Boone and (briefly) Reynolds were portrayed. Adam as respectful and able but cocky, Boone as a calm, quiet badass and Reynolds just happy to be there for his best friend and hetero life partner.

6. Thompson probably posing more, putting on more of a show and Reynolds being louder and more hype. (you know it) Also probably having him heckle his/Boone's opponent/s more. Boone seemed pretty spot on though.

7. Nick Leeds taking in Jeremiah Johnson (after many more denials), Jerry Bishop and Sabre going to the finals with either Bishop winning despite dirty play or Sabre winning with interference from the Hardcases, teaming up with them in the process.

As first shows go it definately wasn't bad. Hopefully anything negative I've said comes across as the constructive criticism it's meant to be as opposed to just complaining or being a dick.

Also, would anyone be interested in specific match/segment reviews and thoughts? Cause I definately would be and when I've got the time on my hands I'm happy to write my thoughts.

[veggieleezy]

1. It felt like everyone's character's personalities and styles got to show in the ring, which was nice.
2. Triple threat was a bit shorter than I feel like it could've been. Also, maybe some tweaks to the formatting/dialogue, just to make things like scene changes a bit clearer?
3. Leeds constantly getting shut down by babyfaces was pretty funny, nice running gag. Azazel one-shotting Legal was also surprising.
4. The women's match was brutal, really nicely detailed, and let our women's division (such as it is) really shine.
5. Jerry finally got to hit his big moves! HUZZAH! I also like how Jerry had a comic book in his tights seemingly during the match. But he was still Jerry, wanting to find the good in people and be friends whenever he can.
6. Nothing comes to mind at the moment, we'll see how things go. So far so good!
7. Leeds finds a client, Clutch seeks justice (not that one), maybe an intergender match?

Also, the Thompson/Boone match was mine, so lemme know how I did, guys!

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2017 21:10:09 GMT veggieleezy said:

4. The women's match was brutal, really nicely detailed, and let our women's division (such as it is) really shine.

Also, the Thompson/Boone match was mine, so lemme know how I did, guys!

Women's match was mine! I was pretty happy with how it turned out, though I don't know if I had them selling enough and I'm a bit worried the finish made Freja look kinda weak.

And funnily enough, you wrote my favorite match which had my guys. (I'm not biased I promise) As I said in my post, I'm happy with how you treated mah dudes, out of curiosity and for future writing, did you like Thompson's or Boone's promo more?

[Deleted]

1. That it went off without a hitch, AND it was earlier than expected.

2. Wasn't a fan of dominating Zeke and Skaar just to be dominated upon against Azazel.

3. Women's match was highlight of the night.

4. Women's match

5. Yes, aside from winning so quickly.

6. Longer matches when winning, don't mond being squashed. Especially if it will lead to something.

7. Not really a predicition but I'm hoping matches become longer, I understand with it being the first show they can be shorter. I'm predicting great thinga for us all here.

[Pizza Ant]

I want to apologize for the matches being too short. Putting two squashes was probably a bad idea,

[Deleted]

Don't beat yourself up about match length boss-man, especially when you've got all the booking and other behind the scenes stuff to deal with. It might be an idea to either give out matches to people (maybe just post the card and let people choose what matches they wanna write) or delegate behind the scenes stuff to some of us who are willing to take it.

The death of one of my previous feds was largely down to the mod taking too much of the work on himself and either not getting done on time or not getting done well, I'd hate the same to happen here. To be fair, I'm fairly new to this stuff so my advice might not be worth much, but whatever.

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2017 22:32:02 GMT @adamthompson said:

Don't beat yourself up about match length boss-man, especially when you've got all the booking and other behind the scenes stuff to deal with. It might be an idea to either give out matches to people (maybe just post the card and let people choose what matches they wanna write) or delegate behind the scenes stuff to some of us who are willing to take it.

The death of one of my previous feds was largely down to the mod taking too much of the work on himself and either not getting done on time or not getting done well, I'd hate the same to happen here. To be fair, I'm fairly new to this stuff so my advice might not be worth much, but whatever.

I agree here. I'll step up and take a match next show. I've been in too many feds that aren't around because one person does all the work. Also. The matches weren't awfully short, better than a two sentence description on what happened. As well, I was just stating i would rather be squashed than squash someone else, no complaints from me, just slight adjustments. We're all here to have fun and to have a place to call home.

[veggieleezy]

Aug 17, 2017 21:18:22 GMT @adamthompson said:

Women's match was mine! I was pretty happy with how it turned out, though I don't know if I had them selling enough and I'm a bit worried the finish made Freja look kinda weak.

And funnily enough, you wrote my favorite match which had my guys. (I'm not biased I promise) As I said in my post, I'm happy with how you treated mah dudes, out of curiosity and for future writing, did you like Thompson's or Boone's promo more?

I liked both promos, but I think Thompson's got across his arrogance really well. Since Boone lets Davis do a lot of the talking for him (intentionally or otherwise), he may need a bit more mic time on his own to balance?

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2017 22:50:44 GMT veggieleezy said:

Aug 17, 2017 21:18:22 GMT @adamthompson said:

Women's match was mine! I was pretty happy with how it turned out, though I don't know if I had them selling enough and I'm a bit worried the finish made Freja look kinda weak.

And funnily enough, you wrote my favorite match which had my guys. (I'm not biased I promise) As I said in my post, I'm happy with how you treated mah dudes, out of curiosity and for future writing, did you like Thompson's or Boone's promo more?

I liked both promos, but I think Thompson's got across his arrogance really well. Since Boone lets Davis do a lot of the talking for him (intentionally or otherwise), he may need a bit more mic time on his own to balance?

The imbalance in mic time between Davis and Boone was intentional. Davis is supposed to be the hyped up and talkative one of the pair (the Enzo if you will) while Boone is supposed to be the quiet giant who only speaks when he means it. Admittedly I do think that dynamic will probably work a bit better when it gets to the point where I'm writing promos for tag matches.

Thanks for the feedback man.

[Deleted]

1. Good storytelling. The concept of having a running storyline such as the one with Clutch was a good idea. The in-ring storytelling in some matches was great. I also liked how each character got something off this show. Zeke and Skaar got squashed but they still got to show character. I'm interested in what happens with them next and that's a huge plus because most bookers fail to make the losing side interesting.EDIT: I also loved Marcus Allen Jones as the dickhead heel.

2. Short matches but you've already addressed that so that's that. Also, if you ever need help with a match or two, you can count on me.

3. The entire Clutch story. Can't say there was one standout moment but the story was reliable and nicely executed.

4. The Freja Vs Athena Dai match was fantastic. Well written and great spots. The story told was elementary but it helped make both look very strong.

5. What's to complain? I'm getting pushed😂

6. I think currently, it's all looking good as of now. The supernatural fighter dominating is the safest route with characters like these. Lets see how it goes.

7. Leeds signing with Jeremiah Johnson. Freja continuing to dominate but losing right in the end. Zeke being a cocky blue chipper and losing his matches because of it. Sabre winning the title. It could also involve the Hardcases interfering.

[Deleted]

All these liars saying I write match gud. Feels all warm and fuzzy inside, it's disgusting.

[Davey Jones]

1. what did you like best about the show?

It's the first show! And there's plenty of matches to get most of the big roster on here.

2. what did you like the least about the show?

I tried to come off as a heel, but in the match I was described as a fan favorite... Is the plan for me to be face? Or will I continue to be a dick prematch and get the Austin treatment?

3. what was the moment of the night?

I don't know if I have a favorite moment of the night.

4. what was your favorite match (besides your own)?

the main event

5. did you like how your character was portrayed?

Overall, yes. Match felt a bit short, but I understand all too well why some matches will be short. I didn't like how it seemed like the promo and in match character seemed to be Mr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde

6. how could i improve portraying your character on the show?

The face Davey you got down. I think if you give me a heads up before I put my promo up if I'm going to be switching from face to heel, that would help keep continuity of the character for the match

7. any predictions for the future?

Way too soon for me to think predictions, but I don't think I take the loss all too well, but I think I start catching the eye of a few people.




Side note: What I didn't like, was that it was all just one loooooong post for the match. I would break it down some so that it's a bit easier to read or to stop and pick up later

[Pizza Ant]

Aug 18, 2017 17:12:51 GMT Davey Jones said:

1. what did you like best about the show?

It's the first show! And there's plenty of matches to get most of the big roster on here.

2. what did you like the least about the show?

I tried to come off as a heel, but in the match I was described as a fan favorite... Is the plan for me to be face? Or will I continue to be a dick prematch and get the Austin treatment?

3. what was the moment of the night?

I don't know if I have a favorite moment of the night.

4. what was your favorite match (besides your own)?

the main event

5. did you like how your character was portrayed?

Overall, yes. Match felt a bit short, but I understand all too well why some matches will be short. I didn't like how it seemed like the promo and in match character seemed to be Mr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde

6. how could i improve portraying your character on the show?

The face Davey you got down. I think if you give me a heads up before I put my promo up if I'm going to be switching from face to heel, that would help keep continuity of the character for the match

7. any predictions for the future?

Way too soon for me to think predictions, but I don't think I take the loss all too well, but I think I start catching the eye of a few people.




Side note: What I didn't like, was that it was all just one loooooong post for the match. I would break it down some so that it's a bit easier to read or to stop and pick up later

To answer some questions:

I didn't know you were trying to be a heel. Sorry. I thought you were just a tough guy face.

And I thought about doing separate posts but then I'd have to format one part, post it, format the next part, post it, and I just feel like it takes a little longer to get each part up that way. I'd just rather have the whole show up at the same time

[Deleted]

1. what did you like best about the show?

I liked that we got to see how the announcer's interact with each other.


2. what did you like the least about the show?

I felt like there were a few reversals that seemed a bit out there.


3. what was the moment of the night?

I think the moment of the night would have to be the first match. It's always pretty exciting.


4. what was your favorite match (besides your own)?

I liked the first guest written match.


5. did you like how your character was portrayed?

I didn't. It really pissed me off lol! But it sets me up for some fun promos.

6. how could i improve portraying your character on the show?

I think Johnson was portrayed well. The dialogue was kept short. The actions might not be my favorite, but it will set me up for something in the near future.


7. any predictions for the future?

I hope Johnson actually gets a match xD